What a Degree Means to Me

Over the last two months, Anna and I have talked a lot about what it means and the importance of getting a bachelor's degree. Then tonight we were discussing along the lines the same topic and it really hit me, just how important the experience was in shaping the direction I want to go with my life. Anna was feeling a little bad because, she had finished so much of her BSW (Bachelor's in Social Work) in Hawaii and then UVU didn't offer a BSW so she really doesn't feel like she is at a point where she can just stop because she wants to get her license and get her MSW. However, James is going to be born in a few weeks and she wants to stay at home and take care of our two boys. So she is torn between finishing her education and taking care of the boys, also she feels like maybe she wasted her time at UVU. I on the other hand look at it differently, yes she didn't get the degree she wanted but she got a degree and she had to work hard to get that degree. True, now she has other classes she will need to take in order to license in Texas. That is when it hit me, it took me until after I had walked across that stage and received that paper that I realized what I really want to do and that I can achieve much more than this.

I don't exactly remember when the idea got in my head, but at some point I thought, "With a degree in Exercise Science I could go on to Medical School." I quickly thought to myself, "Yeah, right! Me a doctor, I can't even stand to get a shot let alone see someone else get stuck with a needle." So I dismissed it, noting to myself that it was something I can't do. (Hmm, I wonder how many things we put in that category).

Now this is what I really realized tonight, I then proceeded with a self-destructive behavior that would prove that I can't do it. In my Anatomy, Physiology, and Chemistry classes I told myself I can't become a doctor and so I don't want to be a doctor and therefore I don't care about these classes and I just needed to pass them ("D" is for degree). So I did just what I had to in order to pass the class. (Now, some of you may think "Marcus, I saw you studying all night long at work for your Anatomy class, you worked really hard on that class. That is true, I did work hard. However, I know I didn't work as hard as I could.) I proceeded to tell myself that I was going to be an Exercise Physiologist. I had an easy route into grad school at UNT and it would not really require that much from me that I haven't already given. Then, in one of my conversations with my friend Steve (who was also my undergraduate research partner), I mentioned to him that if I were younger (I think that might have been on or around my 30^th birthday) and didn't have a family that I need to support, then I would like to retake some of my classes and go on to med school. He reassured me in that he has had the same thoughts but with a family and being thirty it's not feasible to make that kind of commitment time wise or financially. So, I continued in my thinking however it was changing. No longer did I feel I can't become a doctor, but that I could have become a doctor, I just can't now.

A few months later (near the end of my last semester) I mentioned the notion to Anna, totally expecting her to dismiss the idea just as Steve had and reassure me in my thinking. However, she did not. She told me that she thinks I could become a doctor and that it is not too late and if that is what I want to do then do it. Since that conversation, my thought process has completely changed. I believe not just that I can become a doctor, but that I will be a doctor. Thank you, Anna for believing in me, even when I don't even realize I don't believe in myself. (Oh, and by the way for those who are wondering, as far as needles go, they don't bother me anymore. I have been watching the girls at my work get blood draws for the last year. So to prove to anyone who doesn't believe me, I will give blood at the next blood drive.)

So Anna, I challenge you to find what you learned from your experience at UVU that has prepared you or shaped you for the future and share it with your readers.